Its 8:30 am in the morning,my alarm snoozed for the 5th time,reminding me that the love affair between me and my bed should come to a halt.Finally after repeated ignorance i got up.As i started to get ready for my office,I looked at my phone and saw that it had got 2 missed calls from an unknown number.In curiosity i called back.The person at the other end asked me who i was,and i started "This is Aaarunanaabhaa…...".Welcome to my world of Stammering.
Stammering is described in Wikipedia as "Stammering is a speech disorder in which the flow of speech is disrupted by involuntary repetitions and prolongations of sounds, syllables, words or phrases, and involuntary silent pauses or blocks in which the stammerer is unable to produce sounds".In easy words,its a disorder where a person have to fight day in and day out to accomplish the most basic feature of being an human i.e. to communicate.And i am fighting it for the past 18 yrs.
Stammerers are one of those unfortunate human being who are being laughed at,specially during their school days by the fellow kids,because it looks funny to them,and you cant blame them actually,because they are too innocent to understand the plight.So the childhood of someone suffering from Stammering is really tough,because everyday you wake up and prepare for school,you think that at least today the teacher shouldn't ask me questions;today i shouldn't be asked to recite a poem;i wont participate in the upcoming intra-school extempore speech contest.Naturally as he grows up,the kid becomes shy,not because he don't like to communicate,but rather because of the fear of embarrassment.Sometime to move from one part of a sentence to another,it seems to be an unending road.To give attendance,i used to start much before my actual roll number used to come.So you can understand the plight.You are stuck,nerves get stressed,heart palpitates,and you are aware of the people in front of you.You fall in a complete mess.To make things worse,most of the time in our movies,a Stammerer is portrayed as someone who is entitled to be laughed at.
I have lived the first quarter of my life now.I am 26.And i have overcome my stammering to a great extent.I have to say that i have been immensely lucky to have a very supportive Family,and some wonderful Friends,who never laughed at me and rather motivated me.But when you become an adult and step into the real world,you wont find your family and friends everywhere.Even today on few occasions i am still being laughed at and at times people doubt my ability due to my disorder.Let me tell you one small incident which happened few years back.
During my B-tech days,i got placed in a small organization.After the college was over,they gave us corporate training,before finally shutting themselves down due to recession.After remaining jobless for the next 6 months,i moved to Hyderabad in search of a job.The first interview i attended was really demotivating.The interviewer asked me on what basis i was being recruited in my previous organization.According to her my Stammering was too bad to negotiate.Her words tore apart my heart.As a young boy,when you move into a new city with dreams and aspirations,and you are being made to realize that your disorder will come into your way of fulfilling your dreams,it seems like the end of the world.But rather it was just the beginning.Things didn't worked out in the next 25 interviews.But one thing that heavily worked for me was my never ending optimism.I was born with gallons of optimism stuffed inside me.And finally one day someone thought that i am capable enough to serve for his organisation.It was a great moment of joy and victory.
In-spite of failing repeatedly in my life,i didn't consider myself a failure at any point of time.The only time you become a failure is the moment you start doubting your own abilities.The world can have varied opinion about you,but its you who knows what lies within yourself.And trust me you have more capabilities than you can even imagine.And i can prove that.Let me bring an excerpt from a conversation between two person which i found very inspiring.
Man1:How many push ups you can do right at this moment?
Man2: 20
Man1:Are you sure this is the maximum you can do now?
Man2:Yes.I can do only 20.
Man1: OK fine.Now if i say that i will give you Rs.10,000 if you can do it for 25 times.Will be able to accomplish it?
Man2:(After thinking for sometime)Yes i will be able to do it.
Man1:That is the point.Just 2 minutes back when i asked,you said you cannot go beyond 20.But after the next 120 seconds you raised your level to 25.What happened in this 120 seconds?Nothing drastic,except that this time you had the motivation of Rs.10,000 behind you.Actually you were more capable than you thought yourself to be,but you were just too afraid to put that extra effort as you lacked motivation,and as a result making yourself believe that you have the capacity of only 20 pushups.
The above example proves how we ignore the forces that lies within us to accomplish what we want.There is Heroism in everyone of us.We just need to bring out that Hero and shape our life as how we dreamt of.There is a wonderful scene in a movie where the Hero says.."Hamare Filmo ki tarah hamari zindagi mein bhi end mein saab thik ho jata hain.Happys Endings.Aur agar thik na ho,toh Picture abhi baki hain mere dost(Like in Movies,in real life too everything gets settled at the End,Happy Ending.And if it doesn't,than the Picture is yet to End my Friend)".So make sure that when the picture of your life ends,you can proudly walkout as the Hero of it.
Presently i am working in an organization where i love going to office each day,because i am doing what i love doing.I am working on a platform,i always wished to work on.So never compromise with your goals.Let the world doubt you, because its you who can one day turn your doubters into believers with your abilities.So keep the spirits high and never stop trying,because the one who tries passionately can never fail.
